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Caring for Robbie

Oct 2019

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It’s 2:30 in the afternoon and single mom Michelle is finally taking a shower. She’s been up since 5:30 a.m. and has already made breakfast and lunch for herself and her 10-year-old son, Robbie, gotten him on the school bus, and put in some time as a high school para-educator. On this day, she has a brief break before Robbie gets home at 3 p.m.

Mid-afternoon is when Michelle’s second shift begins – driving Robbie to a therapy appointment, preparing dinner and working with him for a while before heading for bed.

Although the family has a TV, it’s rarely turned on. Robbie has autism, and in Michelle’s house, nothing is more important than encouraging her son, guiding him and listening to ensure he is always okay.

When she finally falls into bed and goes to sleep, Michelle says she sometimes wakes up with her mind racing.

“I try to just go back to sleep… but a mind racing at 500 miles per hour takes a while to slow down,” she said.

Caring for her son is a 24/7 undertaking. And Michelle says, “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

A Washington native who has spent more than two decades in the workforce, Michelle’s childhood dream included a partner and enough land for horses and a garden of fresh fruits and vegetables. Michelle grew up that way, and always assumed she would follow the same path.

She and her twin sister both earned soccer scholarships in high school and attended George Mason University in Virginia. After a year, Michelle switched to fast pitch softball and moved closer to home, studying fitness and sports management at Central Washington University. Faced with a two-year waiting list for the program’s required practicum, Michelle went to work – holding a number of responsible positions with a soft drink company.

When her mother was diagnosed with cancer, Michelle moved back home to Snohomish to take care of her; working the graveyard shift in order to drive her to doctor’s appointments. Her mother passed away at 51, when Michelle and her sister were 31 years old.

 

Robbie was born a few years later and was diagnosed with autism as a toddler. As time went on, the need for specialized care grew. Michelle quickly learned that childcare for someone with special needs is extraordinarily expensive – when it can be found at all.

So, the two lived for a short time with Michelle’s sister, but the fiercely self-reliant mom knew that situation was untenable long-term, and she was determined to make it on her own as much as possible.

“I’m a really independent person, so having to rely on someone else is really hard for me,” she said. “I will fight tooth and nail to stay independent.”

Michelle studied to be a medical transcriptionist so she could work from home, but concentration was difficult with a young child in need of so much care. She eventually found fulltime employment as a nanny; working for families and bringing her son along.

When Robbie started school, Michelle gained a bit more flexibility in the hours she was available to work and was able to find positions that paid better. Although still limited to a five-hour day that aligns with Robbie’s school schedule, Michelle is today a para-educator working with special needs kids. When her son enters middle school, she hopes to further expand her hours.

Like thousands of hard-working people in our community, Michelle earns just over the threshold to qualify for SNAP benefits, but not enough to make ends meet. So, she turned to Hopelink Food Markets to stock her kitchen. While she’s glad for the support from the Markets, turning to Hopelink for support wasn’t easy.

“It’s hard for me,” she said. “I’ve always worked. It’s hard for me to ask for help.”

Her first visit to the Hopelink Redmond Food Market provided both food and – as it turned out – moral support.

“When I came to Hopelink, things totally changed for me,” she said. “Even in the chaos of all that was going on, having my son with me and having to find my I.D. to sign up, Hopelink still made it welcoming. (Hopelink staffer) Shirley made that day a lot easier for me to swallow.”

Michelle visits the food market every two weeks, has gotten support with utility bills, and found Hopelink’s school supplies program hugely beneficial as Robbie headed back to school.

“I work and I pay full rent,” Michelle said. “I get paid once a month, I sit down, and I make it all work. Rent, food, gas … if there’s anything left, it goes to Robbie.”

For the young family, “making it work” means living in a Redmond apartment they find a bit too small.

“If paying my own way means living in a place like this, so be it. Robbie calls this place home, and that’s all that matters.”

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